


It's all coming back to me now.

by Shipper_on_deck



Category: The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: Christmas fic, Fluff, Getting Back Together, M/M, Song fic, Sort Of, honestly its barely a song fic too, i dont know what this is but its a big gay mess, its a good song, not really - Freeform, post breakup, sort of angsty, this is inspired by my obsession with Jeremy Jordan singing 'its all coming back to me', this was supposed to be angst but i don't think it is tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-09-17 12:40:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16974732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shipper_on_deck/pseuds/Shipper_on_deck
Summary: Five years. It had been five years since the last time Connor had seen that selfish, egotistical, bastard, and he could honestly say he didn't miss him.It's not until he's suddenly face to face with the same dark eyes that made him melt when he was 19.******************************Merry Christmas Murph! love y' dude :)





	It's all coming back to me now.

Five years. Connor hadn't seen Kevin Price for five years, they'd parted ways at the end of their mission on bad terms, one fight too many before he'd left meant they never swapped addresses or numbers, and Connor could honestly say, looking back, that he didn't miss that selfish, egotistical, _bastard._ If he was completely honest, he wasn't sure why  _this_ was on his mind while he finished off cleaning the bar at the small bakery he and Chris owned (It was Chris' really, but Connor tended to help out there as often as he could between rehearsals and shows... he needed the money), but whatever the reason, Kevin price was stuck in his head... and it seemed like fate when he heard an all too familiar voice.

"Connor?"

He'd frozen, completely frozen, as he looked up at the man that once, years ago, he could honestly say he'd loved. There were a hundred biting insults at the edge of his tongue, everything he'd wanted to say to the man who'd broken his heart, but now, looking back at the big, dark eyes he'd so adored... he couldn't think of a single thing 'don't you dare... don't let him draw you in like this again! you know how it went last time... _'_ he tried to remind himself, forcing himself to think about that one, awful memory, trying to protect himself... it wasn't working.

 

_They fought so much... it had been a little fun at first, passionate, the kind of anger that meant pressing each other against walls, kissing until neither of them could go any longer without breath. It was addicting, intoxicating, feeling like the shy little good kid with his bad boy boyfriend. Then the cracks started, and what had started as fun, began to hurt. "I just don't understand why you're so worried about someone knowing about us" he'd sighed, hurt, hating the way Kevin rolled his eyes at him like he was stupid._

_"I told you... I just don't think we should be so careless around a group of guys raised their whole lives to hate guys like us."_

_and wasn't that just the biggest lie... James and Chris were out and proud now, and Connor wanted that, desperately. Wanted the curling together on movie nights, hands intertwined if they were walking anywhere, quick stolen kisses, not caring who saw because they didn't care who knew they were in love. he wanted it more that anything, but it was never going to happen._

_Because_   _Kevin was ashamed._

 

So he didn't spit out an insult, he just shook his head slightly to himself, forcing a smile the way he always had as a good Mormon boy, barely resisting letting it turn into a smirk as Kevin almost flinched, knowing how fake it was. "Kevin? oh, hi!"

"Hey.. didn't know you were working here..." And at least Kevin had the decency to look sheepish Connor supposed "I.. look, I'm... i'm sorry about the way things ended with us."

Whatever Connor had expected to hear coming from that boy, but it wasn't that. Not a downright anxious look and an apology, and definitely not-

"I... I know you probably don't want anything to do with me after the way I treated you last time, but... I'd love to catch up. Can i buy you a drink later?"

no. he  _should_ have said no. Should have turned away, or laughed in his face, or  **something**. he shouldn't, however, have done what he did.

"I... yes, OK. It would be nice to catch up." he nodded, hating that the way Kevin's face lit up still made his heart flip slightly... this wasn't a good idea.

 

_"Kevin will you just stop it! I thought... after everything that's happened, how could you ever want to go back to the church?" Connor asked, his voice a mix of hurt and confused. "You **know** I can't go back... I don't... you have no right!" there were tears in his eyes, his boyfriend's seeming indifference to his hurt just making things worse._

_"I'm just saying! Maybe you shouldn't be so quick to write all of it off" Kevin shrugged. "So maybe one or two parts are outdated, i just think you're being dramatic, that's all._

_The fights stopped being fun then._

 

Still, Connor found himself that night in a small bar near his apartment, smiling with a man he, clearly, wasn't quite as over as he thought. Kevin had grown up, clearly. Connor had always joked that he was an old soul at heart, but now he acted his age too, and it was nice.. if a little dangerous. Suddenly, Connor wasn't just facing the bad parts, the fights and offhanded remarks, and bad memories. Now he was face to face with everything that had made him fall in love with he brunette when they'd been nineteen, and as Connor felt Kevin's hand reach out to take his, as he  _let_ him, he could all but feel the memories flooding back.

 

_"Kev! where are we going? It's like 4 in the morning!" Connor had whined, following his boyfriend along with a fond but utterly exasperated smile._

_"Just trust me!" Kevin had grinned, grabbing Connor's hand and leading him up to the small hill not far from the mission hut, his smile only growing when he heard Connor gasp._

_"Kevin I... wow" the old, almost dead tree on the hill was covered in fairy lights, and as Kevin tugged him to lay down, he realised just how clear the night was, how bright the stars were. "It's beautiful..."_

_He really did love when they got moments like this._

 

"So how've you been?" Connor asked, tracing his finger around the rim of his glass with the hand that wasn't now tentatively holding Kevin's

"I'm... not sure." Kevin chuckled. "Finished law school, at  _last._ And I'm... better than I was." he shrugged. "Look, Connor I... I wanted to apologise and-"

"It's fine" Connor said quickly, shaking his head. "I... its in the past now. and it's not like I'm so innocent either."

 

_"I... where were you?" Kevin's voice was weak, broken, afraid. "I thought... God, i thought you were my boyfriend. You didn't even care enough to come find me!"_

_"Kevin i was busy!" Connor had snapped back. "We were finally getting baptisms, i had more important things on my mind!"_

_he'd seen the way Kevin had flinched... he'd seen it, and he hadn't apologised. He'd turned and walked away, refusing to admit he was in the wrong... like a coward._

 

He justified it to himself, looking back, by saying he was stressed and nervous already, that he hadn't known how bad things had been for Kevin then. He'd had no idea that his boyfriend had had the book shoved up his- anyway. It wasn't an excuse. Neither of them were looking for excuses anymore, they were long past that point now... what mattered was this moment, paying for their drinks and heading out. Kevin walking him home with an arm around his waist, not embarrassed anymore. It wasn't going to be an immediate forgiveness, not for either of them. They were too many harsh words, too many angry moments and raging fights for that. 

But when Kevin kissed him just before he headed back into his apartment, beaming, and feeling a little like the star of a cheesy holiday Rom-Com, Connor had to admit,

it was a start.

 


End file.
